The Scarf

Growing up, I always hated the way scarves felt. Scarves were awfully scratchy, heavy, and not worth the trouble. On some foggy mornings, the cold dry air gave my young self a headache. I shivered and clenched my teeth. When my mother tried to wrap me up in a scarf, I scoffed. In the most freezing weather when my fingers would turn blue, I retaliated.

“No, I don’t need it.”

I remained this way throughout every winter season for the past five years of living alone. I never wore a single scarf. Then, the other day, whilst rummaging through my winter suitcase as part of my seasonal clean out, I found an unoffensive scarf mum gifted me. I forgot I even had it. Before its donation to Vinny’s, I decided to give it a shot and tried it on. Surprisingly, the scarf brought me a sense of comfort and protection.

This moment of warmth was short-lived. I always rejected wearing a scarf. It was a sign of weakness. My mind wandered loose like the threads of an untangled scarf. As I stared into my mirror reflection, I wondered if I had become like the old with unattained dreams – needing the comfort of the scarf to hide from the cold. Did I lose the brave child who was unafraid of nature and brave to handle the consequences? Have I become mentally weaker?

I sat down. Then I turned to the reflection of this strange person. Her cheeks weren’t pale white anymore. They were rosy and pink. That is when I realised an important lesson. I might have looked brave not wearing a scarf. However, I became stronger when I defended myself against the cold. Not wearing a scarf appeared light, but it meant that I neglected to defend for myself and my value.

I then put on the mittens. My tiny mittens from high school fit! I put on the beanie.

I am older. However, I am also stronger. I am the same person except now I accept my limits. Gone are the days of putting up a great fight against nature and pretending I am not cold. I will be wearing a scarf every time the weather drops!